"In School, You're Taught A Lesson and Then Given A Test. In Life, You're Given A Test That Teaches You A Lesson”

The Yale System of education is such that we do not really have tests, and when we do have them, they are anonymous and pass/fail. Our first set of tests is not until the beginning of October and these are what we call "self assessments", which is code for optional, online, unlimited time, and not even failing one matters. To put this in a way you will understand, our Anatomy self-assessment practical can even be done in teams, as really the point is to learn it, see what you are missing and need to learn better, and, make sure you stay on top of all of this information over the year. Following self-assessments, at the end of each "semester", we have qualifiers, which, like self-assessments are given online, untimed, and we have over a week to finish them all, and, are actually only different from self-assessments in that we have to take them and if we fail here, we have to "out" ourselves to the professor as "one of the numbers who failed" (for our own good, as really, no residency program gets our grades). Yet, as I hear through the grape vine, as long as failing is not a habit (you know, like multiple classes), you really will only have to talk with the professor, go through what you missed, and ultimately, you will end up passing anyway. I guess they could call it pass, or pass-later.

Because of this mentality, I, unlike many of my classmates who have yet to realize this system is code for "ditch the premed in you" and "chill the eff out" (and who have decided that I am either "crazy" or "really smart" for having this attitude as judged by conversations I have had and looks I have received when I mention, for example, that I did not yet realize there were questions at the end of cell biology lectures to answer), have decided to learn at a casual pace and one that is virtually stress free. While I know that this can seem odd given my non-science background, truthfully, I know that I will have to relearn 90% of what I will learn for these classes for the Step I boards (at the end of my second year) anyway and really do not see the point in killing myself to memorize some specific biochemistry or cell biology topic that has no bearing on my ability to be a good clinician. Therefore, instead of a calendar of to-dos and what to studies, my dry erase board merely points out the small groups of the week and what I MUST have done for those. I figure that small groups and labs are really the only time where I will stand out if I am not prepared, and, looking stupid is not something that I am OK with.

This weekend I opened my books for the first time, only to discover that the biggest problem with the System here is that books themselves are even optional and are simply "recommended" (this means that at the beginning of the year we were given a list of books to choose from as suggested by the professors and also by the second year students, and, ultimately, it was up to us to choose what to purchase). This flexibility makes determining what we actually should read to reinforce the lectures all over the place. For example, for Anatomy, since we do surgical procedures and not merely dissections of the "head" or "thorax, finding the textbook locations of all the muscles, veins, and bones that we will be looking at may involved 5 different chapters and lots of glossary searches of keywords. Yes, we do have lectures and are given binders of lecture notes that are helpful, and there are about 50 different online anatomical resources available (net anatomy being a favorite of the upperclassman here), but, for someone who is used to learning by reading and then making notecards, I quickly discovered that my methods may be hindered a little here, thus creating the biggest roadblock for my relaxed attitude. Oh well, a few more days of figuring out what to read and how to study, or what lectures to attend and which to watch the podcasts for, will be all I need to get out the organizational anxiety and bring back my stress-free lifestyle, a method of studying that thankfully, my friends from college confirm the success of. With their support, I can say with certainty that my belief in my methods is not simply, as Jason Derulo sings, "IN MY HEAAAAAAAAAAD".

Speaking of stress free living, do you ever get that feeling that you are one of the few people who truly know themselves?? I mean, beyond just how you relate to other people, but really know what you need to do to succeed, but also just be happy??? While talking to my classmates, I get the sense that many of them are overcommitting themselves (if only out of pure interest in EVERYTHING), and forgetting the most important life lesson you could possibly learn: PUT YOURSELF FIRST. Yes, while I would be interested in a global health elective (definitely NOT a cell biology one), I am not going to attend as I know it will take hours away from my "me-time", my time to chill and work out, and this will only get worse when we have to study harder. Yes, while I like to hear some grand rounds speakers, I am not going to attend every week (as I simply DO NOT like everyone's research enough to wake up at 6 am and listen to a lecture for an hour, only to attend class for 4 hours following it). Yes, while I am interested in many of the clubs and extracurriculars I could get involved with, I am not going to sign up for or be involved in very many of them, and will perhaps only pick and choose which activities I REALLY want to go to out of them all (for example, I have limited my specialty interest group participation to neurology/neurosurgery and MAYBE the surgery one just to get skills, even though you can join one for virtually any possible specialty you could ever consider. I figure hey, if I change my mind away from a brain field--though, let's just say I may have crumpled up and laughed at a flyer for the OB/GYN one--I'll move interest groups then....). Ultimately, if I ever feel like I have TOO much extra time (though, I do think this is impossible given my love of relaxing in front of the TV and Fall TV returning as early as this week), I figure my time would be better spent figuring out a cool research project, or perhaps, even seeing if I could TA an Anthropology class, all things that I would NEVER even have time to consider if I said yes to everything now. For my study habits and my sanity, all I can do is thank my past of club presidencies and philanthropies and research and studying and of balancing everything I wanted to do and never leaving time for myself, for showing me what not to do....and how to more happily go on with this phase of my life.