Did You Ever Have That Dream...Where Your Walking Naked Down The Street...And EVERYONE. JUST. STARES.

Following my visit to Northwestern, I hopped a plane to Florida to go to a wedding. Now, I am 22 years old and very far from wedding season in my own life (I often joke to my bridesmaid worthy friends that they will all "walk" down the aisle in scooters from the scooter store we will be so old), so that alone could make a person hesitant to go to a wedding, but, let's just say I have never met the groom (AND they were high school sweethearts), I haven't really spoken to the bride in over 8 years (I can't do math but since 8th grade), and was either never friends with or haven't kept in contact with most of the guests (there are, of course, a few that I love in the mix and they are actually the real reason I decided to attend). To make matters worse, as if that was really possible, about 10 minutes before leaving for the wedding, I put on my dress, and I realized that it was COMPLETELY see through (like hello cleavage-y bra and spanx).

Now, I have worn this dress multiple times in the past (including my sister's rehearsal dinner), and had tried it on right before I sent it to the dry cleaners, so I knew that it was not see through and that it did not need a separate slip. But, somewhere between the dry cleaners and my travel bag it was either incorrectly pressed (lining-wise), or the lining was somehow removed. FAN-TAS-TIC. This was just what I needed to make my trip down middle-school memory lane even more awkward....showing up in lingerie.

My first instinct was, of course, to start to cry, or to decide not to attend the wedding after all (I mean it was a little late to go shopping and I was a little overwhelmed by this realization). Luckily, however, I realized that in my travel bag, I packed this black cotton dress (a work dress and not a trendy wedding dress) just in case people did not wear jeans at the Northwestern visit. Side note, next time I go to a wedding, I am bringing 2 formal dresses (screw the excess spending) even if I already decided which one I look better in. I quickly put on this dress, added the nice black belt from my purple dress, straightened my hair, and accessorized the SHIT out of it. I wore dangly gold earrings, a long pearly necklace (which, by the way,  almost broke in the church parking lot), a fancy shawl, and gold shoes. I think Richard Gere, and the writer of Chicago, would call this "Razzle-Dazzling", you know, wearing so many accessories that it looks fancy and no one notices the actual dress.

While I sort of felt like I was on candid camera, and there was NO WAY this could be real life, I did manage to blend in with the wedding crowd (perhaps because the dress was black, or maybe because the invitation did not actually say what type of dress to wear). But, to say that beyond seeing those friends I mentioned before (and reconnecting with a few I had always liked), I had a...good time...would be..well, probably, the overstatement of the year. While I appreciated people from my middle school telling me how cool I was "then" and how disastrous it was for them when I did not go to high school there (even though I swear we were not friends) and I got a good laugh in at the bride and grooms church make-out session (if you have to come up for air, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT go back in for a continued wedding kiss), without having dinner (it was a buffet with mostly fish, and you know, I hate fish.The only food I could eat was chicken stir fry, which I had to eat standing up as there were only a few tables and they were all occupied by the "real" ADULTS. Nothing like slurping noodles on your feet, all the while being judged by your middle school acquaintances) or dancing (I think the band was like Frank Sinatra if Frank Sinatra's purpose in life was to act as a powerful Xanax) as a distraction, my night was filled with a lot of small talk (if you consider 8 years of catching up....small talk). I did not really even feel like drinking (which would have been the logical out in this situation), and so I spent most of the night people-watching and feeling like a changed person (probably because I would be one of the few from this group who left Florida, went to an elite university, and SHOCKER...wants to be a DOCTOR). In fact, this wedding might have been one of the few times in my life that I felt like a Northeasterner...or, worse, a big city-dweller. All in all, if my dress mishap and the complete craziness of the wedding was a sign, I get it... I wasn't planning on getting married any time soon anyways.