I work near the top of the building, but without a doubt, every time I get onto the elevator to go to my office, someone gets on to go to floor 2, or 3. On most occasions, I am quite angry at this person because it slows down my trip to the top. I also wholeheartedly believe that this person is incredibly lazy. Now, I am not one to park my car far away from a store for a little bit of extra exercise like weight loss experts suggest, and there are definitely many days when you can find me sitting on a couch for hours (remember, I do record 26 shows.), but I would absolutely climb one flight of stairs, if that was all it took, to get to my office every morning. No, I am not THAT lazy:
Today when returning from my lunch break, I held the door for a man to get onto the elevator and as he hurries in, he presses floor 2. Immediately, I'm pissed off, and I know that my expressive- even when I try to hold it in- face was showing it. On a side note, one time a teacher announced a new major opening post-my graduation that was practically what I wanted to study all of college. All of the sudden, the whole class starts laughing at me and asking if I was mad about this change. Little did I know, but I had rolled my eyes and cringed my face, and EVERYONE, including the professor, now knew my true feelings. Another time, when doing yoga at work (it is part of the wellness program), the instructor actually said to me "lift your legs, not your eyebrows". That was AWKWARD.
Anyway, once lazy-man gets off at his floor, I look at my other elevator companion and she seems sort of mad too. Feeling confident she shared my feelings, I had no problem judging this man for disrupting my ride. I say, "NO ONE in this building EVER walks to the low floors...ever". I sit back with confidence and wait for her to agree. She finally replies, "I used to think that too, but then I read a newspaper article that said people often have hidden disabilities, and you never know... so you cannot judge". Great. Thanks partner-in-crime. Now, I feel like I was just pissed off at a man with a heart condition, or cancer, or some other "super secret disability". Some future doctor I am. Playing devil's advocate though, how many disabilities can you hide that well?? I mean, he DID run to catch the elevator while I held it open with my foot.
I come back to the office and discuss my anger about the 2nd floor elevator rider to the Executive Assistant and she quickly makes me feel even more dumb for my snap judgement. You make not think this is possible, but you are sorely mistaken. She tells me that the stairs only open in an emergency. She told me that she found this out from people on the elevator who told her that they got locked in the stairway (sort of scary, no?). Come to think of it, people do get on the elevator at 6, to go down to 5....far more times than I could count. SWEET. I have been COMPLETELY wrong about everyone I have judged on the elevator for the past 4 months. After such a revelation, some people may stop being so judgmental, but I say, why make promises you know you cant keep?!
On a more productive note, where are the warning signs on the stairways? I can't even imagine how often people try to walk down the stairs and get trapped in, like some creepy and predictable horror flick. I mean, why would you think you couldn't walk down one flight? I know I tried to do a similar thing this weekend in my apartment building to get to the gym, only to find some secret passageway into a restaurant, and definitely NOT the 2nd floor. Under these circumstances, I am actually thankful that I have never been motivated to attempt the double digit story climb, which would have undoubtedly led to my inevitable confinement in the stairwell. Chalk one up to me knowing my limits. But, if you are listening out there architects, or future architects, stop designing buildings with fake stairs. Stairs are meant for climbing, and the fake ones are just not cool.
I did discover one more thing from this experience, everyone learns things from other people on the elevator. The elevator is the new water cooler, only instead of gossip, we share useful information and intelligent newsworthy stories. From now on, I am determined to ride it up and down until I know everything there is to know, at least about working in this building. The only thing that could make these magic school bus worthy trips more exciting, would be if the elevator broke out of the ceiling like Willy Wonka's.... Don't care how, I want it now.
Ok, I'm no Veruca Salt, and I definitely do not need the Oompa Loompas dancing around and calling me a brat, or "pampered and spoiled like a Siamese...cat", but hey, it IS a flying glass elevator.....A girl can dream.
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