Redirection is my computers new porn

I do not like my work computer. I do not like it Sam-I-Am. Perhaps it knows I do not really enjoy what I am making it do and therefore takes its own pent up frustration out on me but the past two weeks have been outrageous.

It is ridiculous enough that I have had to endure this fake virus scan thing exploding pornography all over TWO DIFFERENT computer towers, the tech guy coming down to fix it and laughing at me, and not to mention my bosses asking if I was going to sue them because of it...(side note: is this possible?), but now I have a new issue. I can no longer use my computer for searches....or as the tech guy put it... "my computer has been hijacked". Fantastic. I would be the one to get not just a virus but a terrorist.



Basically all I do in my job is search the Internet and now my computer will no longer do that. I am choosing to use the word "will" and not "can" because at this point I have decided that my computer is against me doing anything but gchatting, facebooking, and reading Perez Hilton. Yes, my computer is actually my subconscious and it KNOWS what I want to actually be doing and is determined to limit me from doing what I SHOULD be doing. Every time I type something into Google the results come up...and without fail...any result I click I am now redirected to dictionary.com or scour.com...both of which are definitely not the department of health and human services website. Now, I have previously admitted to being a nerd, but computers fall into not-normal-nerd territory and so until someone fixes it I am going to have to see what else falls on the list of "approved" sites for my subconscious. I'm thinking that ones that show television shows and talk about college football are likely to be on this list, but even more likely to get me into trouble. But hey, its not my fault that I invented some form of computer terrorism that the tech department has to read about in order to solve.

OR instead of wasting time at work, I will take the high road, and if anything else goes wrong with my PC, I will just act out one of the mac commercials...or scream very loudly...IM A MAC DAMNIT. I can then either bring my laptop into work from now on and enjoy the luxury that macs offer in the virus protection department, or I could call in "crazy", whichever comes first.



On the bright side, if I get fired I can now blame my computer for rebelling in a way that I never could without its help. My subconscious is bad ass and lazy and while I am not going to say I do not agree with the rebellion...lately I have been TRYING to succeed and this machine keeps holding me back. Its like the little devil to my little angel and if I'm not careful I might finally realize my hearts true desire...

Even though unlike Giselle in Enchanted...I am not dreaming of a true loves kiss...



I have sure been dreaming about days a little more exciting and worth singing about....Hopefully I can just put off the devil for a little while longer....