Closed-Captioning

After a VERY expensive cab ride home from Maryland, and a virtual ice skating walk to the theater, I met a friend at the movies tonight. I braved the cold and avoided the intensely dangerous icicles (I mean seriously, I think these could kill somebody) to go see what ended up being the cheesiest, most predictable movie I have seen in a very long time. So with a name like When In Rome, I should have expected cheesy, but since I am never one to complain about a romantic comedy, an Amanda Bynes movie (but seriously, WHERE DID SHE GO?!), or even an episode of Greek/ the Secret Life, I thought I might possibly like it. All in all, the movie was pretty disappointing, but the closed captioning experience...was an utter success.

What is more awkward than being confused by what the ticket man is telling you about the show being closed captioned and thus subtitled? Having the man be hearing impaired himself. Yes that's right, the show we chose was only offered for the hearing impaired and involved subtitles the entire time. We were told we could see the next show, but that was not for another 2 hours and with work and the awesome metro/bus delays this was not a possibility. While the description of our show time and its' closed captioning makes complete sense to me now, when the ticket man explained it, I had about 1500 questions, all of which I ruled out asking because he himself was hearing impaired. Every question seemed inappropriate or slightly off collar (like asking a little person if her baby was going to be normal sized) when I pictured them heard through the ears of someone who needed the closed captioning himself. I admit, I bought the ticket even though I actually thought someone was going to sign the entire movie (I only know the awkward turtle and the word for boy so that would obviously be an issue for me), or that the subtitles were for me to understand the dialogue, and not for them. Only Me.

The best part of the subtitles was that I learned all the lyrics to the songs on the soundtrack and found out what the background talkers in certain scenes were saying. The worst part...that I actually read and heard (double sense infusion) how bad the dialogue was for most of the movie. The only believable part of the plot, in fact, was that Kristen Bell could think Josh Duhamel was under a spell and did not really love her. Let's be serious, he is like fake hot, Ken doll hot even, and I might ask myself the same thing if he even talked to me. Well... at least the movie got me out of the house (ended me feeling like a chicken in a coop) and I have the movie Valentines Day to look forward to seeing in the near future. I have high hopes (high in the sky apply pieeeee hopes) for this film and it best not fail to impress.