I have been waiting for a few days to write this entry, patiently timing the US mail system to deliver what I will call my "random birthday gift" to my friends. It is now safely in their hands and writing this entry will not ruin the surprise (something that would have insanely defeated the purpose of my odd gift choice). I can now explain my eccentric idea of what makes a funny birthday gift. The type of thing people say, "Only you"....usually with a shake of the head, or a moderately judgmental look, but always with a laugh. It is what you get for (or expect from) being my friend, I suppose.
There is a homeless man who "works" the area outside of my office. Every day when I go into work he says "good morning" and every night he says "have a good night". This is always said with a smile and always happens like clockwork. I have walked by him and have pretty much ignored him for a good 5 months now. Yes, I have stopped to look over his work, an artist of sorts he sets up and sells handmade cards to get money from the passerby, but I have never stopped to talk to him, or even thought about purchasing a card. But, all of that changed when the right birthdays came around. In life there are few people who will appreciate you sending them a card drawn by a homeless man, with misspelled words and random cartoon characters on it, but my early February birthdays served as a golden opportunity for such a purchase. Not only were my twin best friends born then, but probably the person most likely to laugh at my inappropriate sense of humor text messages was too. We call that a sign.
Unfortunately for me, the day I attempted to purchase these cards it was too cold for Robert to be on his usually corner. I obviously took for granted that he would always be out there, and even though I went to check a good three times that day, I had to submit to my "gifts" being a little late. Yet, when he was finally out there, his cards did not fail to impress. When you have been friends with someone for a while, and you have always gotten them at least a birthday card, how do you keep being creative?? The answer is, at least for me, buy a "valentines themed" card, get Happy Birthday written on it by Robert in McDonalds, and include the picture below in the inside of the card. Robert is actually a good artist and the cartoons are pretty accurate but without the picture included the choice of a hand-made Jessica Rabbit card, or little ghetto kid with sunglasses would seem, well odd, and not funny or random (Side Note: I read on Perez Hilton that Betty White wrote a get well card to the woman who played Blanche on the Golden Girls -who just had a stroke- that said "I hope you die, so I can be the last Golden Girl". Blanche loved it, it makes me love Betty White even more, and I only hope that when I am that age, I can be that funny, random, and different, and my friends will still appreciate me for it. I see my future and as a magic 8 ball would say the "outlook is good"). This picture was the key to my present's success and I think my friends really appreciated my "out of the box" thinking in cheap present purchases (unless they lied to make me feel better). Oh and just so you know, by now I have submitted to my stalker phone picture taking status... Deal with it.
All in all, I have to admit I felt good giving him money. Now when I walk into work every morning and leave each afternoon, I do not feel like his kind words are going to a deaf ear. I can now sort of skip out of the door smiling, knowing that I did my good deed there. Bonus points to me that I made some friends laugh in the process. So, happy belated birthday to the people I love and who appreciate my eccentricities. In the words of the original (and almost best- except for Carrie Underwood) American Idol: MY LIFE. WOULD SUCK. WITHOUT UUUUUUUUUUUU.
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