What Not To Wear

If I were Stacy and Clinton, yesterday would have been a great day. Not only did I see the panda woman and her friends, but I walked behind this gem of a man.

Notice how with his neon jacket and reflector backpack he nearly glows in the dark and you could spot him in a crowd of thousands (I mean you barely notice the 10 guys in jackets around him and my in-motion photograph blurring could not even cramp his style). Looking at his outfit, which I am pretty sure he was not wearing because he directs traffic, does construction, or guides little children through the cross walk, I was reminded of the Friends episode where Ross does teeth whitening and his teeth glow in the dark. (Side note, this is almost my favorite episode with Ross's character but it loses slightly to the one where he gets a spray tan and only his front gets sprayed each time. Since I have been in one of those booths and I too was confused out of my mind what I was supposed to be doing with my hands and body, this plot line gets me laughing every time. Both are worth googling, though, if you were not obsessed with friends and/or have never seen them). I wanted to go up to the man and his jacket and do the glow in the dark test, you know where you have your hands cupped blocking out the light, to see if he actually glowed. But, unfortunately for me, all I could do was stare, laugh, wonder when the 1980s resurged, and hope he was just going on a bike ride after dark. I mean you know what they say...Safety first.

Oh, and besides the glow worm, I walked by a half man/half-gorilla (slightly less fun than the mythical centaur). True, he was dressed to go to the Syracuse/Georgetown game, but we were multiple metro stops from the game (making him way out of place to someone who does not follow the Georgetown basketball schedule) and he was just chillin without his gorilla head on like it was no big thing. Though I am partial to my friend's gorilla outfit and his ability to do a striptease of embarrassment down to a boxer wearing gorilla for big/little week, it was funny seeing him this far from the zoo (and well the game). Also, why was he a gorilla? Isn't their mascot a giant orange with a face and feet (more fitting for Tropicana)?? Sometimes...I love my life.