Male Escorts

On Sunday I went skiing for the first time in a few years. I borrowed my sisters clothes, her mother in laws' ski goggles, helmuts and glove liners, and attempted to figure out the purpose of body warmers (like where on your body.. do you place these things). Looking stylish, and rocking my rented skis, I started to get a tad nervous. Afraid I would spend the day in the snow and bruising my butt (looking cool does not quite protect you), I did the mature thing and purchased myself a ski lesson. Little did I know that I was actually paying upwards of 70 dollars for the equivalent of a male "sporting" escort. Ok, I do not think they actually have these (though through the grape vine I have heard that tennis instructors end up being passed around and making lots of extra dollar bills from desperate housewives), but, if they do, I am pretty sure I got myself involved.

People usually take lessons to learn. Knowing I pretty much suck at skiing and even if I try my legs end up in the classic "pizza pie" position as I plow down the hill, I think my instructor had things he could have told me. Instead, I spent the entire lesson following him down the hill as he did tricks on the banks (he is on the ski team at University of Rhode Island and was back earning money over the holiday weekend) and riding up the lifts with him as he hit on me. Perhaps if he was not a freshman in college, or I did not pay him for his time, I might have been more into his advances. Instead, I just wanted him to earn his money and teach me about skiing. Unfortunately, the only advice he gave me was "just put your skiis parallel and go as fast as you can down the hill". For someone who can barely do green runs, and just managed to get down one blue, I know there was better advice to tell. On the plus side, at least my escort allowed my sister to ski the more advanced runs with her husband as I know I bothered them with all of my fears of falling off the mountain, or the ski lift. Even without his help, I did not fall once. To save face and my wallet, maybe I will just pretend I am THAT good and there was nothing left to teach me. Beginner my ass.